10 Tips to strengthen your Marriage

by Elia Strange

So why do you think so many marriages these days seem to fall apart? I personally think, that the main reasons for this is a lack of time spent on proper communication between the wife and the husband.


If we look at the current statistics it appears that these days, 75% of newly weds end up getting divorced, with three out of four couples ending up this way then we are left to wonder what is there left to be happy about?

Do not despair, as there are always answers to life’s troubles. Just take a few minutes and have a look at these tips below on how make your marriage simply indestructible.

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1). There is a saying “You can be right or you can be happy, not both”. I believe that this is wrong, because if you’re happy then it must be right & if your right then you are naturally going to be happy.

What I believe is really meant is that sometimes you have to accept the decisions of your partner even if you would not have done it this way. So, take a breath and bite your lip from time to time, it really won't hurt to just go with the flow. And by doing so you end up making each other happy. You can get all of this by just by being considerate.

2). Learn the art of cooperation, you are a team. And by working with each other you can build yourselves a pretty strong team. So make your plans together, then decide on the best course of action together and if there are any problems or issues then talk about them! After all ‘two heads are better than one’, ‘and a problem shared is a problem halved’. So resolve them together build a stronger team.

3). Talk to each other. I know this sounds obvious but it is so easy to come home from work and sit down in front of TV or a computer all evening. We’ve all done it.

Make time to talk about things. It is important to communicate with each other. You can chat about things whilst making a dinner together and then this can lead on to discussing something that you feel is important, like your views on the latest news, scientific discoveries, new technological gadgets, or even the places for your next holidays. As Bob Hoskins used to say in a television commercial, “It’s good to talk”, so make it happen.

4). Forgiveness. This is really important. If you can’t forgive your partner for whatever they have done, then, you can’t live with this person. It is as simple as that. There are many counselling services available that maybe able help you resolve these issues, if these are unsuccessful then it is far better to walk away than live with the bitter resentment gnawing at you everyday.

5). Appreciate and celebrate life. Make a habit of appreciating life around you, as it is far better to do small things regularly than just to do one big thing once a year. Do these things together as a couple and with friends and family. Invitations to do things can be really powerful, so ask your partner, get friends involved, get out and do things together.

6). Sometimes it is more about listening to what your heart says rather than you listening to the words being spoken. Instead of picking fights or creating an argument turn everything around and start using this energy to become more caring with each other. Remember why you wanted to be together forever. Re-finding this love is more important.

7). Don’t stop talking with your partner about their strengths, skills, talents and hobbies. Sometimes they might not seem to you to be all that interesting, but your partner will appreciate your interest in what he is doing or what he is passionate about. And a little passion in life is not a bad thing.

8). It can be quite easy just to talk, but it’s more difficult to communicate with each other properly. If you have had a heated argument, then wait about 30 minuets before trying to resolve it. Then ask your partner to allow you to express your points of view without interruption and then you allow the same.

Then, try to discuss your views and feelings to each other in a calm manner and work together for a satisfactory outcome. Sometimes it is difficult to step down and admit you were wrong and that you are sorry, but it will make you a stronger person. Always try to resolve arguments before bedtime and you never know, it might lead to you making up.

9). It is your duty to take responsibility for your contributions to these problems, as there are often two sides to any story. So therefore, there might just be ‘your share’ in this problem too. I am also sure you know a few sayings that fit this, such as, ‘step up to the plate’ or ‘take the bull by the horns’. You know what you’ve got to do, so stop procrastinating and just do it.

10). Don’t ever assume that just because you are married, you know how to be married. Marriage is always evolving. And if you both work hard together then it is an incredibly satisfying experience.

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References:
Baron, R.A. & Byrne, D. “Social Psychology”, 10th ed.

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Other articles you might like:

How to be happy in this 'unhappy' world

6 Ways to stop your irrational thinking

How angry can you get? (Fun quizz)

7 Reasons for our unhappiness

Why am I lonely



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